First-Time Buyers:
Must-Have Discussions Before Buying with your Partner
Have you and your “plus one” decided to purchase a home together? It is important to have these 4 discussions BEFORE you submit that first offer, so that you start off the on the same page and have a smoother buying experience.
Discussion #1 - Wants vs Needs
The first conversation your and your partner need to have is about your wants vs your needs. This includes the basics such as number of bedrooms and bathrooms, garage, etc but you should also discuss the more in depth features of a home that make a direct impact on your lifestyle. Here are some of the questions to ask each other:
- How much space do we need to feel comfortable? Will the space grow with us?
- Where will we spend the most amount of time in the home?
- How far of a commute are you willing to have?
A trick that I like to use for this discussion is to speak in terms of range, setting minimums and maximums. So instead of just being 15 minutes from work, it is 10-25 minutes.
Keep in mind this hard honest truth though – the perfect home doesn’t exist. Homes are like shopping at the thrift store… they are previously owned and will have flaws. You and your partner will need to determine where you will draw your hard lines. Don’t sell yourself short, but don’t have a million dollar home in mind on a pennies budget.
Discussion #2 - Splitting Costs
The next conversation that you will need to have is how you would like to split costs. Having this discussion up front can change the way that you and your partner look at homes, so it is important to talk about before seeing homes vs when you are signing the dotted line.
- Most often couples will choose the 50/50 split route
- Others choose to split according to their take home pay, so that the “impact” of payment is equal for both you and your partner.
- One method of calculating this is to combine your incomes, then divide the higher income by the total for the percentage the higher income should contribute. (The video above has a detailed explanation on how this can be done.)
Also, keep in mind the other expenses that come with home ownership. Utilities, annual home maintenance, and new items that you will have to buy such as a lawnmower or snow blower.
Discussion #3 - Ideal Timeline
The third discussion to have is your ideal timeline. Not only your ideal closing date to move into your new home, but also the long term plan. Are you buying the forever home or a starter home? On average people live in a home for 7-10 years, so don’t be afraid to plan at the starter home level and then move up when your lifestyle demands it.
Discussion #4 - HOW you plan to compromise
Finally, the most important conversation to have with your partner before buying a home is HOW you will compromise.
- Will you try to meet in the middle?
- Does one partner have final say in a specific feature of the home?
It is ok to compromise in real time when you are touring homes, but making sure you are on the same page before can save you an arguement and disappointments.
Ready to build your home buying road map? Check out how I can help!
